05-28-08 MOA and NSO

Wab accompanied me to NSO so I can pick up my birth certificate already. We stood and waited for like an hour before I finally received my copies.

Then, of course, we went to MOA where I had to pay Muy's credit card bills and run some errands for Momcee. After that, we hang around the skating rink and made kwentos about stuffs. We had our dinner at Max's and then went again to Esplanade where we talked and made lande. Haha!

We had our first argument that night when we're on our way home. We were talking about how we would cope if and when I leave for Canada. He was joking about how I would find another man and leave him, etc. He will forget Prudence daw because the mere thought of the barkada will remind him of me. Then, I joked back that if he find another woman while I am away, he should not hesitate to tell me that he'd fallen out of love because if he kept me on the dark and had an affair with another then, it won't be possible for us to be friends anymore after that. He then replied that it is impossible for him to fall out of love seeing as he's the one who is giving more love in our relationship. Thereby after that, I told him that it does not matter if he loved me for years or that he thinks that he is giving more love than me, I won't do that to him for the simple reason that I am not that kind of girl.

He did not respond after that. So, we remained quiet for the rest of the trip home. We parted ways like that... silent.

I texted him when I got home and said sorry. He said sorry too. I was so worried when he didn't text me if he was in his dorm already or what. Anyway, we chatted when he got there and talked about it. He told me he's just scared of my leaving and how it will affect us. He can't bear it daw. He's undergoing some difficulties these days regarding the issues with his ex, etc that he sometimes feel exhausted, according to him. I asked him if he needed time and space in which he replied: "nakakapanghina naman yang sinasabi mo."

It hurts him daw to hear me say that because he thought I will be telling him that I'll stay by his side no matter what.

Just to air my side: I never actually intended to break up with him last night. It just so happened it came out the wrong way. I was just being my old martyr self. I thought that's what he was trying to say--that he needed time from me.

Anyway, we settled our issues and I said sorry about 'that' question. No, I am not letting him go. Not now. And not in the near future.

I just realized how much I love this guy. It's amazing. I never thought I'd feel more love than what I had for Jeff but, he is proving me wrong.

<3