05-28-08 MOA and NSO

Wab accompanied me to NSO so I can pick up my birth certificate already. We stood and waited for like an hour before I finally received my copies.

Then, of course, we went to MOA where I had to pay Muy's credit card bills and run some errands for Momcee. After that, we hang around the skating rink and made kwentos about stuffs. We had our dinner at Max's and then went again to Esplanade where we talked and made lande. Haha!

We had our first argument that night when we're on our way home. We were talking about how we would cope if and when I leave for Canada. He was joking about how I would find another man and leave him, etc. He will forget Prudence daw because the mere thought of the barkada will remind him of me. Then, I joked back that if he find another woman while I am away, he should not hesitate to tell me that he'd fallen out of love because if he kept me on the dark and had an affair with another then, it won't be possible for us to be friends anymore after that. He then replied that it is impossible for him to fall out of love seeing as he's the one who is giving more love in our relationship. Thereby after that, I told him that it does not matter if he loved me for years or that he thinks that he is giving more love than me, I won't do that to him for the simple reason that I am not that kind of girl.

He did not respond after that. So, we remained quiet for the rest of the trip home. We parted ways like that... silent.

I texted him when I got home and said sorry. He said sorry too. I was so worried when he didn't text me if he was in his dorm already or what. Anyway, we chatted when he got there and talked about it. He told me he's just scared of my leaving and how it will affect us. He can't bear it daw. He's undergoing some difficulties these days regarding the issues with his ex, etc that he sometimes feel exhausted, according to him. I asked him if he needed time and space in which he replied: "nakakapanghina naman yang sinasabi mo."

It hurts him daw to hear me say that because he thought I will be telling him that I'll stay by his side no matter what.

Just to air my side: I never actually intended to break up with him last night. It just so happened it came out the wrong way. I was just being my old martyr self. I thought that's what he was trying to say--that he needed time from me.

Anyway, we settled our issues and I said sorry about 'that' question. No, I am not letting him go. Not now. And not in the near future.

I just realized how much I love this guy. It's amazing. I never thought I'd feel more love than what I had for Jeff but, he is proving me wrong.

<3

05-23-08 DFA and MOA

He accompanied me to DFA so I can get my authenticated transcript of records. Unfortunately, the lady guard won't allow him to enter the building--those who have the claim stubs are the only ones allowed to enter the bldg.

To cut the long, boring story short, Dro had to wait for more than 2 hours outside (while its raining although luckily he managed to stay at the part where there's roof) while I wait for my papers to be released.

Afterwards, we ate dinner at MOA. Walkathon again in the mall and outside, at Esplanade. We talked and talked and talked hehe.. as usual.. we're always like that eh, talking.. It's great to be able to talk with him on both nonsensical and important matters.

We left MOA around 9pm and arrived before 10. He stayed at his dorm in Dasma so we're able to chat.

We had our first argument (kinda tampuhan) during our chat--about trust and doubts. My trust issues are haunting me again. He was hurt that I cannot give promises re: our relationship. I told him it's not a question of my loving him, it's about my fears but then, he answered simply: "there are no doubts in love."

Right on target, it hit me fast! *sigh*

We managed to settle this issue before we went to sleep but the morning after, I emailed him and explained (again) why I am that way.

We're okay na. Back to our usual corny, 'mush'y selves. :)

<3

his sweetest gesture

dro: kinausap ko si jeff
dro: para malaman ko kung mahal ka nya
dro: tsaka gs2 ko malaman nya na mahal kita
dro: hnd para hnd cya mkpgsabayan
dro: cnbi ko un
dro: kasi prang nilaro laro nya lng feelings mo
dro: gs2 ko mrealize nya na may ngmamahal sayo
dro: ng totoo
dro: gf ko pa si em nun
dro: tinanong ko cya
dro: kung kaya nya bitawan si AJ pra sayo
dro: ayun
dro: hnd daw, kasi mahal daw sya, mas naalagaan..
dro: sabi ko ganun din ako wid em
dro: ang difrence lng
dro: para ky ping
dro: kasi mahal kita
dro: hehe

that's at 2:10 pm, May 22, 2008.

at that moment, I couldn't possible love him more than I already do.

<3

Shrug

He is not a texter. At least, that's what he warned me about. So, I understand that's he's not, uhm, like me who's a constant texter but...

Is it so much to ask for a message in the morning? Even one tiny weeny message? One that tells me he's still friggin' alive.

That's all.

This is creeping me out. I can't stand the agony of message-less days. This is the only communication we have right on the palm of our hands. Jeez. I can see now the following days, months, years (if we get to that). I'll probably turned into a basket case of paranoia and what not--due (most likely) to thinking too much of what is happening to my anti-texter-wubwub.

I am not possessive of him at all. He is as free as he is when we got together. That is not the issue. The issue is... I want to share my life with him and, I want him to share his.

And we can only do that if we communicate.

05-17.18-08 Villa Buenaflor

We officially became "together" as of midnight of May 18.

We were like the ultimate PDA couple there.

We kissed. I think we're still getting the hang out of it ourselves. It's still new to me--kissing him... It was funny, though, because I laughed during our first "kiss" since I have a candy rolling in my mouth. We laughed silly. It was not romantic, but it was cute. hehe!

We had a couple or more kiss after that, each with a playful overtone haha! We couldn't stop laughing at our own silliness.

I gave him the "mario" key chain I got last Tuesday at SM.

He carried me about three times hehe! sweet... =)

He said "I love you" and, believe it or not, I said "love you too" though he pointed out that I'm still uncomfortable with it. :)

On our way home, Max had a busted tire so the "boys" had to act all manly and change the damn tire hehe! LOL~ Dro was super tired na. boo~

<3
<3

05-15-08 1:53 am while chatting

"If every road I take will lead me to you then, I'll walk barefoot to feel the pain and the joy."

05-14-08 When Love Begins

We watched When Love Begins at SM Bacoor. I know, I know right? Corny? haha right on! But, he wanted see it last April pa so, I decided I'll let him choose the movie this time since I'm always the one to choose what we'll watched during the past weeks.

We had dinner at Jabee then we went to see the movie already. We had a good time with it. It's not exactly a super gandang movie but, it was okay. In fairness. Nice story.

We're closer now than ever before... and I'm more comfortable being with him. In some part of my heart, I know I love him. Still, I'm too scared... too goddamn scared that I'll crash and burn again.

<3

05-11-08 @ Enchanted Kingdom

We planned this for about a week or so.

He picked me up around 9 am (or past) then, we went to meet Jorn, Mich, Angel, and Marga (Angel's gf) at Festival Mall in Alabang. We used Marga's Hyundai Getz to EK. It was raining hard when we arrived there.

Our rides:
Rialto (Spongebob Squarepants)
Flying Fiesta
The Grand Carousel
Anchor's Away (rode this 2 times)
Caterpillar (something2... can't exactly remember the ride's name)
Wheel of Fate

We had dinner at Amazon's grill. Sucker that both the Space Shuttle and Jungle Log Jam was closed due to the rain. *sigh*

We left the park at around 9pm. We dropped Marga and her car in Las Pinas then we hailed a taxi so they (Dro and Angel) can drop me off here.

We were sweet. Haha boy, we were that~~ we talked about "things," "us." He told me he is so afraid to lose me... I feel the same for him.

The way he loves me--that's what endears him the most to me. I don't know if that is enough but I'm willing to give this one a try. Just because... because it feels right. It feels perfect that we're like this.

I'm confused. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't know if I'm being selfish or what. But, I am happy... and I think I am making him happy. That's enough for now, I believe. <3

05-10-08 Mass and Mcdo

This is not a planned meeting at all. We were just supposed to stay at home and wait for tomorrow (our EK escapade). But, we texted each other around 4pm or so. I told him I will be attending the mass here and he asked me if he can accompany me. I said yes, of course.

He was late. He arrived around 5:30pm and the mass already started at 5pm so we were able to catch the latter part of the homily only. After the mass, he accompanied me to Mercury Drug where I bought MomCee her meds. We had dinner at McDo where we stayed for quite a long time since its raining and we neither brought Max or an umbrella with us.

We talked about "our" feelings. Told him I do have something for him but still, its not the time for us to commit to each other. In that aspect, he understands me well. We also planned for our EK trip hehe!

Afterwards, he hailed a trike for me. He did not bring me home anymore since he has to pass by Fr. Ner in Kawit.

I don't know. I love him... I think, a bit. Still, I'm not sure if I am making the right choice. I am happy, though. I don't know what I'm going to do if he ever decides to go capice on me.

<3

05-08-08 @ SM Bacoor

It's really ironic that we went out today. Five years ago, the 8th of May meant so much more different for me. It was the day Jeff and I became officially together.

Today, Dro and I met around 5pm at SM Bacoor. He arrived at 4:30pm. As usual, he texted me when he was there already. I arrived ten minutes after 5 and he jokingly said I was late again for our "bisyo." We had dinner at Max's wherein I told him about Daddy's plans for me re: my visit to Canada. I told him it would be for good already if it pushed through. He can't comment on anything. He asked me if that's what I want and I told him I don't have a choice. I wasn't given any anyway.

He told me he did something last night. Nothing that bad, I think... and I want to believe that. If he ever did something that betrays "us," that's for him to carry. Not mine. I truly believe the man loves me. If he can't keep his hands off girls when he's drunk, that's fine by me. We aren't officially "together" anyway. When and if ever we will be, that's a different story altogether.

Anyway, after we had dinner at Max's, we watched "Speed Racer" and had lots of fun over the movie. So funny! And Rain, haha! Rain is so cuuuuttteeee.... We held hands, after what I thought was an eternity already. He always say that our friends tease him as "torpe" when it comes to me. He kissed my hand (I think). Basta! It was so sweet. Nothing "malandi-ish" as what had always been between me and Jeff. As I told Bebeth, we're like the ultimate pa-tweetums na 22-year-olds. O diba?

He told me he has to think of some things first then we'll talk on Sunday when we go to EK. I told him I have questions naman.

So happy... but, at the same time, I think we are both confused. So many questions and so little time for the two of us. <3